I found the best fish and chips in Edinburgh

It’s my mantra.

This treat can be big, like a holiday, or wee, like a handful of Maltesers. During the grim old winter, this self care is more important than ever.

After all, life can be too much stick, not enough carrot.

Thus, we were totally hyped about visiting this new fish and chip focused restaurant from the Vittoria Group. If you’re not au fait, they are the owners of an Edinburgh empire that includes Bertie’s, Divino Enoteca, Taste of Italy, Vittoria on the Walk and others. They’re not THE most exciting restaurants in town, but they’ve got broad appeal.

The newest 200-cover place is in the former premises of burger chain Byron, and has a seaside theme on the blocky corner of the Royal Mile and North Bridge. Think an interior of chequered tiles, neon lights, and booths that are separated by ribbed glass panels.

We sat downstairs, near a sign that read Keep it Shrimple. Indeed, the menu seems unnecessarily long. I’m sure most people are here for the chish and flips, and aren’t going to bother with the other twenty-something main courses including curry, pie, burger or haggis, neeps and tatties. We ignored those.

Even starters seem a bit OTT when you’re in the market for a main course blow out. Still, according to the server, the salt and pepper squid (£7.95) and macaroni cheese croquettes (£6.95) are best sellers. We thought we could maybe squeeze in a little pasta dish, which featured three gerbil-sized pellets that had a firm coating and oozy nuclear hot cheese underneath, and there was a ramekin of ketchup and another of a Tabasco-injected Marie-Rose-ish sauce clad coleslaw on the side.

As we took our final gooey bite, the mains appeared. Oh my. It was going to be an Us Vs Lunch showdown.

The battered haddock with twice-cooked chips and tartare sauce (£15) was everything I’ve dreamed of through these chilly months. The fish was silky, and its blonde coating had a freshly frothy and crunchy texture from a recent loony dook into the deep fat fryer.

Its accompanying frites weren’t an attempt to reinvent the wheel. There was no Jenga-style assemblage or skinnies in lieu of the classics, thank goodness. This was just a massive pile of straight up chippy chips. And, best of all, on the table, you’ll find salt in a hefty shaker and Edinburgh brown sauce, so you can skoosh it liberally all over, as if you’re greasing up a long distance swimmer.

Unfortunately, we were sharing, so I had to try not to pollute my other half’s side of the plate. He does not like this sauce, since he’s not a native.

He is, however, a white pudding (£8.50) aficionado, and had ordered one of these, ‘just to see’. I don’t think he’s the only one to struggle to get a decent mealy pudding in the central belt. In fact, there was an episode of Shetland, when Jimmy complains about not being able to get a good white pudding supper in Edinburgh.

Well, now you can, as my beau totally rated this pleasingly peppery and sticky example, which was tightly swaddled in a thick batter and came with a pot of beetroot ketchup.

And that wasn’t all. We’d also ordered the homemade king rib supper (£11.50). As the Scissor Sisters sang, this Scottish treat was Filthy/Gorgeous. It featured a paperback-sized slab of pork mince, with a touch of barbecue sauce underneath the batter, like a silky camisole under a winter knit.

I cleansed my palate with a pair of pickled onions (£2). The last one I got from a chipper was so caustic that it set off a coughing fit. These were ideally acetic, without dissolving my oesophageal tract. Maybe next time I’ll get a pickled egg (£1.75), too.

We did an impressive job getting through all of this, and I also tried one of their cocktails - the Solero (£8.95, with Bacardi Carta Blanca rum, Cointreau, Aperol, orange and lemon juice), which was a fruity and sherbety foil to all the salt and fat.

Unfortunately, the scheduled deep-fried Mars Bar (£7.50) pudding was a step too far.

Instead, we shared the manageable Landy's whippy ice-cream (£5.95), and had a little tussle over raspberry or chocolate sauce - I won, with my choccy choice - though they also offer a squirt of caramel.

Yep, this place is definitely a crunchy carrot.

Their excellent fish and chips are all we need to see us through the next leg of winter.

Landy’s Fish & Chips, 29-31 North Bridge, Edinburgh (0131 603 0301, www.landysfishandchips.co.uk)