Hearts and Celtic set for ultimate stress test as maroon-ribboned trophy takes up secret residence

Form an orderly queue, Hearts fans. They might even be in the area already, spitting on the Heart of Midlothian mosaic on the Royal Mile for good luck. Anything’s worth a go at this stage.

It’s only natural if Jambos are walking around in a daze, possibly or even probably fearing the worst. They might even find themselves climbing the freshly painted spiral staircase towards the Scientology HQ, as I did earlier this week for Scottish Premiership title climax preview research purposes.

“Had many Hearts fans in?”

Sorry?

“Hearts fans. Many been in?”

The look I received in response suggested not everyone is completely au fait with the situation at the top of the Scottish Premiership. I was, though, handed a flyer: “Discover what’s holding you back from a happier and more successful life - locate what’s causing you most stress.”

How about, in the case of Hearts fans, supporting a team who might be 90 minutes from a first Scottish league title success since 1960 and yet could also be two matches and a matter of days away from a fourth last-day failure since 1959.

Sports writers are often lampooned for so willingly lapsing into hyperbole. But this is truly massive.

If Hearts beat Falkirk on Wednesday, and Motherwell dole out some 1986 karma on Celtic on the Tynecastle side’s behalf, then a party lasting days, weeks and maybe months will erupt in Gorgie.

Of course, Hearts can only win the league on Wednesday night. They cannot lose it. But a defeat or draw against Falkirk, coupled with a Celtic win at Fir Park, will mean Hearts have to beat their only challengers at Parkhead on Saturday to lift themselves back into pole position when it matters. They have been top for all but 24 hours since September. Even if Hearts and Celtic both win - the most likely outcome - the Edinburgh side won't be heavily backed to secure the result required in this weekend's fixture.

Title race stirs memories of Kidd and McDonald

Albert Kidd, who scored twice for Dundee to rob Hearts of the title 40 years ago, is currently driving around western Australia on a post-retirement tour of the country where he has lived since 1989. He and his wife Maureen have just pulled up their camper van in a place called Lucky Bay, would you believe. “You want to see the colour of the water,” Kidd says, happy to be away from all the tension and worry and repeated mentions of his name.

Perhaps Scott McDonald, also now based in his Australian homeland, is a more relevant reference point. The pressure is on Hearts no question, but what about Martin O’Neill? He is returning to the place where he saw the title slip through his fingers in his penultimate match as Celtic manager first time around. McDonald scored twice in a 2-1 win for Motherwell in 2005. It was the afternoon when the phrase Helicopter Sunday entered Scottish football’s lexicon.

The chopper scenario is redundant this time around. SPFL officials will not confirm where exactly the trophy will be residing while the match at Tynecastle takes place. It will be somewhere in Edinburgh, along with some maroon ribbons, ready to be whisked by car to the stadium if everything is cut and dried.

No one, least of all Derek McInnes, will approve delivering it to the stadium pre-match and storing it in a cupboard just in case.

The Hearts manager is operating with the mindset that the title will come down to a final day shootout with Celtic. He will be kept up to date on the situation elsewhere. It will be difficult to avoid news from Fir Park. Indeed, the situation there could impact his own tactics later in the game. While he is expecting Celtic to win, he recognises Motherwell are more than capable of being kingmakers.

Unexceptional passages of play, perhaps when the ball is being played around midfield, could be punctuated by huge cheers reacting to something happening elsewhere. The discontented of Ibrox, whose team are in action at home against Hibs at the same time, will be tuning in for something to lift their spirits. The away fans too – although of course they will both want different outcomes.

Footage of Celtic fans erupting at Love Street in reaction to Kidd’s brace for Dundee against Hearts has been doing the rounds in recent weeks to mark the 40th anniversary of what some have termed “Scottish football’s JFK moment”. Radios can be spotted pressed to ears. That might seem a quaint scene now but the same thirst for information will apply, it will just be received through a different device.

Hearts out to avoid repeat of past glorious failures

When Hearts let the league title slip away in 1959, it was because of a last day loss at Celtic. Rangers’ defeat at home to Aberdeen had opened the door. According to The Scotsman, Hearts “lacked the basic skill and, above all, the courage of champions”. Rangers fans, presuming Celtic were not of a mind to do them a favour, were unaware they were champions. The players were slow hand-clapped off. “They didn’t know what we knew,” wrote Jack Harkness in the Sunday Post, a statement underlining how much things have changed communications-wise.

Hearts put things right the following year, winning the title with a game to spare following a 4-4 draw with St Mirren at Love Street, coming from behind four times.

In 1965 they surrendered the chance to win the title at Tynecastle on the final day when losing 2-0 to Kilmarnock, their nearest challengers. Hearts were edged out on goal average by the Rugby Park side.

“There was something about that Kilmarnock game, an almost quiet acceptance,” recalls club historian David Speed, now 74. “I will always remember the season. Four or five teams were contesting the league that year, I think Hibs were involved, Dunfermline too. Hearts crept out of the woodwork in the last few games. We had outscored everybody. But there was a quiet acceptance about that one. There were even Kilmarnock fans running onto the field and there was no trouble. We all just went away home. This one is different. No one has knocked the Old Firm off their perch for over 40 years.”

It's notable, though understandable, that the Champions League qualifying round place Hearts have already clinched has barely been remarked upon. This is the reward awaiting the runners-up. Although hardly a booby prize, it’s not what Hearts, having led the pack for so long, having waited so long, want to end up with. Champions go straight into the play-off round, just two matches from the promised land.

“The Champions League could give us so much,” says Speed. “This is huge. It could change a lot of the ball game for Hearts.

“This is so much harder than the 1960s. You only played everyone twice a season then. There is so much more risk and reward. The reward for winning this league is monumental.”

Speed has seen it all but is awed by the enormity of what’s at stake. “Even I recognise this is monumental in terms of breaking the Old Firm monopoly,” he says.

Massive, monumental. Heaven for sports writers, hell for the fans. And, to reference a popular song at Tynecastle right now, everyone is going radio gaga.