The Wargame review: Nicola Sturgeon in crisis mode as ex-Scottish Labour leader sends UK to brink of WW3
The former first minister warned against an ‘alpha-male mentality’ putting the UK on the verge of war - and she might have been spot on in the first part of Sky’s scenario-based drama, The Wargame.
Nicola Sturgeon likely never dreamed of playing second fiddle to Michael Gove in Westminster - but Sky’s new fictional scenario docudrama sees another former Scottish political has-been take us to the brink of war.
Warning: Spoilers ahead
The Wargame places former political heavyweights, all lacking acting skills, in a fabricated super-cabinet, headed by Mr Gove - who finally gets the job he always wanted, had it not been for Boris Johnson.
Mr Gove’s deputy prime minister is none other than Ms Sturgeon, who becomes the voice of caution when things are running out of control.
But it is former Scottish Labour leader and UK cabinet minister Jim Murphy whose rotten diplomacy skills appear to have taken Britain to the verge of annihilation.
“I fear it might be Russia”, warns Mr Murphy, without any evidence.
But the former first minister is less convinced. She fears it could be a far-right terrorist that assassinated two RAF pilots in the fictional scenario.
She warns her new colleagues over an “alpha-male mentality taking us down a path that turns out to be counter-productive”. It’s unlikely that’s the first time the former first minister has issued that warning to her cabinet colleagues.
It turns out that it is the sneaky Russians after all.
“Of course”, Mr Murphy nods. He knew all along.
Things take another turn after a Russian spy ship runs aground off the Scottish coast with the Russians accusing the UK of doing a Belgrano.
Up steps Ms Sturgeon.
“I think we have a significant window of risk now, where Russia has the potential to brand the UK as the aggressor and it as the victim,” she warns. I can’t think where the former SNP leader got that idea from.
What Ms Sturgeon and the cabinet didn’t account for was Mr Murphy being sent to calm things down to avoid World War Three. It was maybe what the Russians were banking on all along.
The only act of aggression Mr Murphy handled during his political career was being pelted with eggs by a Yes activist in Fife during the independence referendum campaign. So you would think he would be well-prepared for anything the Russians could throw at him.
“Who is in charge of this situation,” Ms Sturgeon bellows.
Turns out it is the former Scottish Labour leader and it’s hard not to feel a sense of dread when he’s sent to calm down with the Kremlin.
Within his first breath, Mr Murphy is demanding “an agreement that didn’t lead to war”. But his opening gambit, frankly, left the Russians perplexed that he was already using the ‘W word’.
After being sent his jotters, Mr Murphy glumly reports back to Mr Gove.
“Prime Minister, I wish I could bring you happier news.”
Mr Murphy is then tasked with putting his diplomatic knowhow to use by making sure the Americans bail us out if Russia launches an attack as, unsurprisingly, we have no chance of defending ourselves.
But it’s more bad news for Jim - the US is wanting to do an Ed Sheeran and remain neutral.
All Jim can say is “f***” as he trudges back to the cabinet once again. It is hands down the funniest moment of episode one. Luckily, it is entirely fictional.
“Prime Minister, we have a very, very serious problem.”
It feels like the serious problem is that Jim Murphy is our foreign secretary when the Russians are warming up their nukes.
After the first of four episodes, it feels as though things will keep going from bad to worse. Can Mr Murphy turn it around or will Ms Sturgeon have been right all along?
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