Glasgow count is a muted affair - despite whoops of joy from Scottish Greens
There were no surprises at the Glasgow count - but quiet relief from Labour on the list votes and thrilled whooping from buoyant Scottish Greens
Anas Sarwar looks maudlin. His party representatives look so glum even their red outfits appear funereal.
In the Labour section of the Emirates Arena, one party staffer looks at another party staffer and mutters, “It’s just sh*t.”
This was, believe it or not, even before Mr Sarwar conceded the election not long after lunch.
A wander over to the Conservative pen. How are things here? One long-experienced candidate offers a slightly tougher expletive.
It turns out there isn’t much to separate watching votes be counted and watching paint dry.
Not when the bulk of the room is depressed, a large chunk is pretty relaxed and only a small handful are feeling any thrill at all.
Well, the one edge to watching paint dry is that you have complete control over the resulting colour scheme.
The count didn’t even enjoy the enlivenment of a candidate in a costume, a la the Guga Man in Edinburgh. Alison Thewliss brought SNP-branded home baking, which was as novel as it got.
The Nationalists, exactly as was expected, held all but one seat in Glasgow. Other than the obvious Labour and Tory general upset, there were no unexpected upsets. The results came in as forecast - SNP city-wide bar Southside.
Late in the campaign there had been some chatter about Reform UK taking Maryhill and Kelvin but that was always a polling nonsense.
Ditto anyone who believed Glasgow Southside wasn’t going to turn Green. Nicola Sturgeon, the outgoing MSP, pretty much set it up for them to scoop.
And the Greens were having the time of their lives. When Lorna Slater took Edinburgh Southern from Angus Robertson, they were cock-a-hoop.
When Iris Duane narrowly lost Glasgow Kelvin and Maryhill there is barely a shrug as the would-be MSP was so far up the list. Right enough, not long later Iris Duane and Q Manivannan in Lothian become Scotland’s first two trans-identified MSPs.
Holly Green, who saw off government minister Kaukab Stewart to secure Southside Central, is very nearly nearly floated aloft by delight.
She makes an impassioned speech about her “surreal” victory, but sets it in the context of “10 years of hard graft”.
Ms Stewart is physically hauled away from the stage by an SNP staffer before any media can speak to her.
SNP insiders say Ms Stewart pitched for a move from her Glasgow Kelvin seat - Kelvin and Maryhill - to Glasgow Southside because it was seen as an all-but sure bet to have her re-elected.
The irony is not lost.
Ms Bruce, a Glasgow councillor, tells journalists she will not work with the SNP if the party pivots on drilling in Scotland’s oil fields, even if the SNP are working to secure a second independence referendum.
She said she was delighted for Lorna “landslide” Slater over in Edinburgh Central - who ousted SNP heavyweight Angus Robertson - and hailed a “big turning” point in her party’s status.
“Voting Green isn’t a wasted vote any more on the constituency ballot. We mean business,” she added.
Scottish Greens co-leader Ross Greer said two breakthrough constituency wins was “an amazing day for the Scottish Greens”.
Mr Greer said his party has had “more MSPs, more votes than we have ever had before”.
“Everyone in Scotland is going to have a Green MSP by the end of the day today, I’m quite confident about that,” he said.
“We will have MSPs in all eight regions.
“We thought Edinburgh Central and Glasgow Southside were going to be close. In fact, we thought we’d maybe not quite made it in Southside.
“It turns out both of them were really quite comfortable wins.”
Throughout the count, Reform UK largely keep themselves to themselves. For Glasgow Central, their candidate didn’t even show up for the results being read out.
“We are shaking the political establishment,” the party’s Thomas Kerr told journalists.
He said finishing ahead of Labour in second place in the Baillieston and Shettleston constituency was “a really good stepping stone for what I expect to happen over the next five years”.
READ MORE: Nicola Sturgeon makes her final address to the Holyrood chamber - did she keep her Promise?
Mr Kerr went on to claim that “the Reform vote in Glasgow’s east end is going to continue to rise, year on year”.
Nigel Farage’s lot are the self-styled great disruptors yet do not seem to have the first clue as to what they are disrupting or why they are disrupting it.
That’s not invigorating, it’s dangerous. Their version of “It’s the economy, stupid” is “it’s the immigrants stupid”. We’ve now seen how long a simplistic, populist narrative has taken them.
How much further will it go?
The Greens boo as Mr Kerr is announced as having secured a list seat. Labour activists, at the announcement of the list results, start crying with relief.
Paul Sweeney, a fan favourite, lives to legislate another day.
It is an odd mix of muted staleness and high emotion, extremes reflected in the results.
Truly the path of the next Holyrood parliament - with such strong showings on the hard left and hard right - is going to be a spectacle to manage.
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