Election Diary: Lions, weasels and nutmegging Swinney

Heartfelt congratulations to Reform UK's Graham Simpson, who wins the inaugural Scotsman Diary award for the Most Ludicrously Unconvincing Answer of the Week. Having denied claims he called his party colleague Thomas Kerr a "weasel", he was asked what animal he would actually compare him to. "A lion," he said. "He's a lion. He's out there, he's attacking the opposition, and he's doing a great job." Bravo, Graham.

Head’s gone

“Graham phoned me to give me an assurance he didn’t call me a weasel,” Mr Kerr later told journalists during a press call at his local pub in Glasgow’s east end, where he got behind the bar to pull some pints for the cameras. Unfortunately, the Tennent’s he poured had the kind of head that would get you fired from most self-respecting establishments. Channelling Blue Peter, Mr Kerr simply swapped it for one he made earlier before posing for photos.

Highland rout

“New poll projects SNP to lose seat to Lib Dems’, read the front page of the Caithness Courier on Wednesday, citing a survey indicating the Nationalists will lose both Caithness, Sutherland and Ross, and Skye, Badenoch and Lochaber. Unfortunate timing for the SNP’s Maree Todd, who is fighting to retain the Caithness seat and had paid for a front page advert urging locals to back for her on May 7. “Wonder if Maree Todd will think this was ad money well spent?” texted a gleeful Lib Dem source.

Flying high

The same source says a pal overheard two prominent SNP politicians - one of them a sitting MP and the other a candidate - discussing the party’s prospects rather too loudly at Edinburgh Airport. Anyone standing nearby apparently heard all about how the Nationalists are on course to lose to the Lib Dems in Strathkelvin and Bearsden; Caithness, Sutherland and Ross; and Edinburgh Northern.

We don’t need no education

Fair play to Scottish Green co-leader Ross Greer, who tried the unusual tactic of blunt honesty when addressing a hustings organised by the Scottish Council of Independent Schools in Edinburgh this week, where the panel was asked about Labour’s introduction of VAT on fees. “Scottish Green Party policy,” Mr Greer told the room full of private school headteachers, “Is that fee-paying education shouldn’t exist.” He went on to acknowledge there is no majority in parliament for that position. “I suppose my pitch is that while Labour ineptly deliver policies you don't like, the Scottish Greens will more effectively deliver policies you don’t like,” he added. Who says politicians are poorly acquainted with the truth? Maybe the tactic will earn him a vote or two.

Back of the net

In perhaps the most high pressure visit of his campaign so far, John Swinney played football at Greenock Morton's Cappielow ground during a media call on Friday. The FM must have been alarmed when actor Martin Compston pulled out a pair of football boots. Sadly for the assembled journalists and snappers, Mr Swinney managed to stay on his feet. Pleasingly, however, he did suffer a humiliating nutmeg less than a minute into the action.