Separating couples urged not to rush into divorce post-Christmas

While that date can be seen as a trigger for change following seasonal strains, lawyers at Scottish legal firm Lindsays say it’s often an issue they see develop throughout the month, building as Christmas bills begin landing.

And they say that anyone considering a split does not need to immediately consider divorce as they urge couples to talk openly, calmly and stay respectful to each other.

Philippa Abernethy, an associate in the family law team at Lindsays, said: “Getting a divorce decree is either something that doesn’t need to happen or can happen further down the line.

“In most cases, people are generally best advised to focus on making sure they get their financial situation and any childcare arrangements sorted. They can do that by getting a separation agreement in place.

“That can cover all of those issues and can sever all legal ties which exist between them because they are married. This means the divorce decree is just that - a bit of paper at the end, which is only required if the couple want it or either of them wish to re-marry.”

To reach the most amicable solutions, parting couples are being urged to communicate clearly - a step which could ultimately save them money in legal fees.

Philippa added: “When people turn to us, it can be one of the worst moments of their life with the breakdown of their relationship.

“We advise clients to take a step back and try to separate the emotions they feel from the practicalities of what’s happening. Particularly when there are children involved, the acrimony between parents can impact on what they think they want to happen with arrangements for the children.

Anger

“The first priority for us is helping our client to get care arrangements for the children in place which are child-centric and not driven by anger from the breakup .”

Alison McKee, partner and head of family law at Lindsays, advises that for couples who decide separation or divorce is the best course, their approach to it can make a critical difference, for their finances and wellbeing.

She said: “People who get in touch with us early in the New Year have often spent months - sometimes years - thinking about separating, but fears of upsetting families, being alone or facing a challenging financial situation have put them off. Time together over Christmas can, however, prove the tipping point.

“It’s important that couples who want to separate can - and the most straightforward separations are where couples find a way to communicate with each other to allow them to identify the issues which are most important to them and work out how these can be best resolved. .

“Lawyers can provide advice so that there is a general understanding of the law then help fine-tune the details or simply formalise any agreement reached.”

While every family is unique, financial arrangements are generally where couples find they need professional guidance.

Among the methods Lindsays uses to reach a settlement is collaborative law, where the parties’ lawyers - and perhaps experts including financial advisors and life coaches - work with the couple in an attempt to resolve more challenging issues.

Ms McKee, a qualified collaborative lawyer, said: “Working by negotiation, you can be creative, taking account of circumstances such as tax implications and the practicalities of implementing an agreement that works for you both, rather than having something imposed in a courtroom, which in most cases is really the last resort. It’s better - and more cost-effective - for everyone.”