English whisky surely can’t be anything to be afraid of, or can it?

English whisky...?! Is this some kind of pre-Calcutta Cup match sledging? What do they even call it, Englitch? But no, turns out it’s real and, what’s more, there’s a terrible plot afoot in Westminster to undermine Scotch whisky.

Labour is consulting on a plan to give English whisky special geographical status which would, according to the SNP, damage “the integrity of our single malt products by associating them with inferior products”. One nationalist MSP, Emma Harper, even claimed the plan would “destroy Scotland's whisky industry”.

Scotch whisky is the best in the world, and always will be (Picture: Jeff J Mitchell) | Getty Images

The Scotch Whisky Association is also up in arms. Apparently, under the proposals, English single malts would be allowed to be produced in a different and cheaper way to the traditional methods that have enabled Scotch to become the world’s preeminent whisky.

They do say pride comes before a fall, but we feel fairly confident that the threat posed by “inferior” Englitch can be seen off. However, if Labour really does do anything that damages Scotland’s practically sacred whisky industry – worth £7.1 billion a year to the UK economy – the political backlash will be furious, swift and very serious.

Woe betide Labour if they damage Scotland's practically sacred whisky industry

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