50 things that sum up Scotland? Here are a few suggestions
As English people ponder 50 objects that sum up their nation, Scotland should do the same, says Stephen Jardine
What does it mean to be Scottish? If you haven’t thought about that before, now might be the time.
South of the Border, a new campaign has just been launched to highlight the 50 objects that sum up what it means to be English. From the Magna Carta to chicken tikka masala, the aim is to move the conversation away from division over the flag and find out what unites people from Penrith to Portsmouth.
Backed by the Jo Cox Foundation alongside musician Billy Bragg and Green politician Caroline Lucas, the most popular suggestions will be turned into memorabilia for St George’s Day on April 23.
This is a brave thing to do. The last time people were asked for their opinions we ended up with Boaty McBoatface. On that basis, the symbols of Englishness may well end up being bad teeth, Jedward and a liver with advanced cirrhosis.
READ MORE: Ten reasons Scotland can be proud of itself
Porridge from Culloden
However in the spirit of openness and optimism, let’s launch our own campaign to find the 50 objects that encapsulate what it means to be Scottish. These could form the focus of our St Andrew’s Day celebration on November 30, instead of it just being yet another day off for civil servants.
Let’s start in the past. One of my all-time favourite museum artefacts is on display at Abbotsford, the beautiful home of Sir Walter Scott in the Borders. Amongst all kinds of historic memorabilia is a small grey square that looks like something the dog regurgitated. A fading label explains it’s a piece of porridge found in the sporran of a dead Highlander on the battlefield at Culloden. Our collection is underway.
Food and drink could take up quite a lot of the list so we need to be disciplined about this. Haggis and whisky have definitely earned their place but what about Scotch Broth, Lorne sausage, butteries, empire biscuits and Irn-Bru? Let’s see how we get on.
The Vital Spark from Para Handy is currently at the Inverary Maritime Museum so it can go on the list along with the Stone of Destiny, Dolly the Sheep, the Declaration of Arbroath, a book of Burns poetry and Billy Connolly’s big banana feet. And of course we need a kilt.
Scottish inventions
Too much old history? Let’s also have a ballot paper from the independence referendum, a photograph of the Glasgow School of Art burning down (make that two photos) and one of the bottles of urine thrown at Sheena Easton when she came back to perform in her home city but unwisely did it with an American accent.
We probably also need a CalMac ‘service cancelled’ sign, a West Highland terrier, a tent full of midges, a baby box and Sir Ian Rankin.
Let’s not forget the objects that Scots have invented. Namely, the television, telephone, MRI scanner, refrigerator, toaster and disposable contact lens. And we’d better have set of golf clubs as well.
Of course all of the above could soon be superfluous. When it comes to what it means to be Scottish, lifting the Six Nations title this weekend and the World Cup in July in New York would be the ultimate expression of our wonderful nation.
Which reminds me, let’s also add self-belief regardless of ability to our list. That’s something no one can take away from us.
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