Lady Carbisdale: Becoming a woman was the 'kiss of death' for my past career and family
Lady Carbisdale has spoken candidly of the challenges she has overcome, both past and present.
The owner of a Scottish castle has described her decision to undergo gender reassignment surgery and live her life as a woman as a “kiss of death” for both her former career and her family.
Samantha Kane, who became known as Lady Carbisdale following her purchase of Carbisdale Castle in Sutherland four years ago, has spoken openly about her gender identity and the impact of her surgery more than 25 years ago.
As a teenager, Ms Kane was sent to England by her wealthy family in Iraq, a move which allowed her to “express issues with identity which really didn’t correspond with masculine culture of the Middle East”.
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Ms Kane went on to head-up an investment fund and then led the successful takeover of Sheffield United Football Club.
But later, her decision to transition to a woman led her being forced to resign from her job, with her relationship with her children, who were just five and six-years-old at the time, never the same again.
Ms Kane, in a wide-ranging interview with the Press and Journal, said her gender identity was “the reason they sent me away from Iraq".
She added: “I always thought I was a girl and a woman. For me, this is just like a normal life.
“I said to my company, my investment shareholders, that I am afraid this is really who I am.
“This was almost the kiss of death. They asked me to make a resignation . It was a Middle Eastern investment company, so it just wouldn’t have worked.
“I immediately had to resign.
“I had to tell my family I am afraid I had to lose my job because of who I am, that is what I want to do.
“That is what I call the kiss of death to my family.
“In these days they thought a transgender father would have an influence on children and the children would become transgender themselves.
“I was on my own without family, without identity because I used to love business, love deals . I did things that were well ahead of time and all of that was gone.
“Maybe I thought that was a price worth paying, to be myself. I obviously went ahead with the changes
She added that she “adapted very well” after surgery.
“Eventually, I felt like myself because really I didn’t feel like a transgender woman - or any category. I just put on old jeans, go out on the streets and was myself. Sometimes I had bad hair or good hair. When I was younger, I did glamour things, lovely nails...whatever it was.”
She said she missed her family “very, very much”.
“I used to go in the streets in tears. An uncontrollable sadness about the loss of my family. I loved my children, they were five and six years old”.
When asked if her relationship with her family returned, Ms Kane added: “Not really, not in the same way.”
Ms Kane eventually rebuilt her career and moved into interior design and “got back on my feet” by buying and selling property in London before finishing her law degree, becoming a barrister and heading up a chambers.
Ms Kane bought Carbisdale Castle four years ago and plans to turn it into an exclusive retreat, with 12 lodges and 23 en-suite bedrooms, as part of a £10m renovation.
She has faced hostility from some members of the community and said she had faced transphobia and racism from a small number of people, whose attitudes had then influenced others.
“I used to ignore it, I thought it was maybe an element of human jealousy, ‘she has got a castle, who does she think she is’. No problem, I understand that. Then it really became something darker. That is the struggle I am facing. I haven’t had the chance to put my case through.”
Ms Kane earlier launched a judicial review to seek £20,000 in damages following a decision by then Ardgay and District Community Council to dissolve itself and seek new members.
Ms Kane said the decision was unfair and claimed the community council had not allowed her to defend herself against comments made about her character and conduct at a meeting.
She is also fighting plans by SSEN to fell forestry surrounding the castle to make way for super pylons , a decision she described as “illogical” given the potential value of the property to tourism in the Highlands.
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