Why my legs turned to jelly in the treetops, and 11 other reasons to visit this family-friendly Crieff resort

My nieces and I had decided to try one of Crieff Hydro’s Aloft Treetop Courses. It’ll be a cinch, I thought. Wrong.

The girls sped ahead. While safely clipped into our harnesses, we’d trip-trapped across a tightrope and a bouncing log, both of which were strung between sycamores. 

It was at the first flying fox that I stalled. “I can’t go on,” I told the girls, as my heart thundered in my chest. 

“Yes you can!” they shouted back, and the man behind me, who probably wouldn’t be too keen to reverse in order to let a fearty off, cheered me on. 

No pressure. But, I did it, by sitting down and letting the harness take my weight, then, woo-hoo. What a thrill, as was the rest of the course, which culminated in a giant zip line. 

This was just one of the amazing attractions at the four-star and 900 acre resort.

Here are 11 other reasons to take your family. 

1 The Action Glen Activity Day Pass (from £35pp). This grants access to all the timetabled Action Glen activities, as well as the adventure playground and other attractions. Before Aloft, we had tried Woodland Combat, aka laser tag. The participants, aged six and up, are split into two teams - Alpha and Bravo - and have to shoot at each other with laser guns. Some grown-ups were taking it WAY too seriously. I may have been one of them, as I was high on adrenaline, and went full Apocalypse Now. SO much fun. In the end, it was a draw, so everyone went away happy.

2 The sunsets. We stay at two interconnected Woodland Cottages - Brae and Corrie cottage, which start from £330 per night and each sleep six across three bedrooms and have a bathroom and shower room, kitchen and lounge areas. Situated on the side of the Knock, they boast the dreamiest views across Strathearn valley and the Perthshire hills. The setting sun was fiery red. You can watch it go down while you percolate in the hot tub that was big enough to fit our whole crew of six. At sunrise, if you’re first up, you might spot a roe deer in the adjoining field. We did. Two, in fact.

3 The design of the living spaces. They’re well equipped and smart, but robust. We didn’t have to worry about the kids knocking over chichi ornaments. Also, there are tellies in almost every bedroom, should you not want to watch Scooby Doo en masse. It’s extremely family-friendly for a four-star location. 

4 Sharp Shooters. Another of the Action Glen delights. You can try axe-throwing, air rifles and/or archery. We skipped the axes, and did the other two, under the tutelage of their very patient and kind staff. 

5 Mini Land Rovers. For ages three and up, these tiny cars whizz round a course. I say whizz, when I mean trundle very slowly. They’ve got some power though, and can easily carry one grown-up to do the annoying backseat driver thing. 

6 Swimming. There’s a 20-metre long family-friendly pool in the Victorian hotel, with a view out to their gardens, and a Jacuzzi at one end. After dinner one evening, I succumbed to pester power, and played life-guard as my 11-year-old niece did her late night synchronised swimming.

7 Victorian Baths. Crieff Hydro was built by Dr Thomas Meikle in 1867 as the Crieff Hydropathic Establishment, so this attraction is closest to its original raison d’etre. It's for grown-ups only and starts from £25pp for a two-hour session. Auntie and uncle temporarily split from the group for some pre-booked TLC that involved swimming underneath their Sistine Chapel-esque fresco, and admiring the trompe l'oeil columns from the vantage point of a Jacuzzi. There’s also a very hot steam room, with twinkling stars on the ceiling, and a sauna. For further pampering, they offer therapies, like the Himalayan Salt Ritual, or there’s an on-site hairdresser.

8 Food. We tried The Brasserie at the Terrace. The first thing we noticed was the amount of helium balloons. Does everyone in Scotland celebrate their birthday at Crieff Hydro? There were golden 60s, 80s and 30s bouncing around the room. While candles were blown out, us adults ate chicken schnitzel, chocolate and cherry delice, a Moby-Dick-sized portion of fish and chips and sticky toffee pudding, while the kids went for mozzarella sticks, spag bol and ice-cream. 

9 Quad Pods. It’s not dignified, squashing yourself into a tiny kiddy-sized car, which will be one of a chain to be pulled around the resort by a mini tractor. Is it fun? Oh yeah.

10 Dog-friendly. The family’s new addition, Twiglet, who bears a resemblance to Dobbie the house elf, came along. It’s hard to say if she enjoyed the trip, though, while we were at dinner, she stayed in the lodge and managed to steal a whole pack of HobNobs and devour the lot. That’s approval of sorts. 

11 Thinking about next time. We packed tons into a two-night stay, but there are 60 activities, so there’s a lot we didn’t try, like horse riding, the escape room, cinema, the soft play Big Country, where hotel guests can take advantage of two hours of free childcare a day, and the other four restaurants, like The Meikle, or the beautiful Winter Garden, where they serve afternoon tea.

Crieff Hydro, Strathearn House, Ferntower Road, Crieff (01764 655555, www.crieffhydro.com). A two-night stay at the hotel for two adults starts at £570

15% off midweek self-catering stays when you use discount code MIDWEEK15 for stays between 1 Sep and 30 Nov.. Further details: https://www.crieffhydro.com/offers/offer/15-off-midweek-stays/