I went to Scotland's most fabulous and feminine party at luxury Edinburgh hotel

I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me) is just one of the songs that are being belted out by stars, including Faye Tozier from Steps, Noel Sullivan and Keala Settle, who starred in The Greatest Showman.

I’m at the fabulous and frivolous annual invitation-only Lunch With An Old Bag which, ironically, has just turned 18-years-old.

Almost every woman in the audience is half-sozzled after a Laurent-Perrier Cuvée Rose Champagne reception. They’re happily singing along, while sporting blow-dried manes and colourful slinky dresses, adorned with frothy marabou feathers and sparkle. Along with the occasional bloke, they’re here to indulge in some philanthropy, but, also, to party like there’s no tomorrow.

This annual event takes place in The Stables event space, with disco ball strung overhead, at Edinburgh’s decadent five-star luxury hotel Prestonfield House.

This destination generously offers its services for free to raise funds for the King’s Trust - the charity, founded by King Charles, that helps young people to develop essential life skills, and has just hit its 50th anniversary. According to the committee chair of the event, Doreen Davidson, King Charles once described hotelier and LWOB founder James Thomson OBE, owner of Prestonfield, as a ‘power house of a man’.

Anyway, the 50th anniversary explains why - during the long lunch that features courses including cheese souffle, and halibut with smoked mussels - we watch a musical dance performance, with each skit enthusiastically choreographed to a song from 1976, 1986, 1996, 2006 and 2026.

The four-hour-long show is compered by Scottish panto favourite, Grant Stott, as well as comedian Des Clarke. They pay tribute to previous guests including Bryan Ferry and Jason Donovan.

Stott says that Donovan was auctioned off at a previous event, and hasn’t been seen since, but I’m sure he’s just joking.

Clarke has to keep ‘shushing’ the crowd, who are all living their best life and getting louder and louder.

The duo also say that they’ve been ‘greeting’, when we get a moving and inspirational talk from King’s Trust ambassador, Musa, who came to the UK after fleeing Sudan as a teenager, and has made a life for himself in Glasgow thanks to the charity's support.

Of course, the main event is the live auction, with dancers in glitzy Rio carnival costumes, who ‘model’ the handbags that will be on sale.

Those are what really give the event its name, though the event “was launched to celebrate the glamour, grace, gorgeousness and gutsiness of women who aren’t afraid of birthdays, and to shine a light on the issues faced by young people in Scotland”.

Today’s donated new bags include a camel calfskin Celine bag, a Gucci Diana tote, a Chanel vanity case, a Valentino number, and a red ostrich skin Launer piece, among others.

I sit on my hands, because I can’t afford any involuntary movements. Thankfully, they’re all quickly snapped up.

There’s also a raffle for a 18ct yellow gold, emerald and diamond ring that was donated by Edinburgh jewellers, Hamilton & Inches. Tickets are £50 each, or £1,000 for 35. This is no village hall tombola.

The woman who wins this prize, leaps to her feet, and waves her arms around with joy.

However, it’s not just fashion that’s on offer. There are also lots that include a holiday to Glenapp Castle and a trip to Paris, with loads more to choose from as part of the silent auction that’s running concurrently, thanks to iPads on the tables.

Personally, if I had the cash, I would bid for the afternoon tea at Prestonfield with actor Christopher Biggins, who’s at the event today and is friends with Thomson.

After all, I loved the Eighties children’s series Rentaghost. I’m reminded of this telly programme, by one of the guests I chat to. She works as a headhunter, and goes to this event every year with her friends. She says it’s the final opportunity for them to really dress up in summery outfits before the season changes.

Despite the fashion focus, the auction item that seems to raise the most interest is probably the salvaged metal Highland coo sculptures. They are made by artist Kev Paxton, who has named them Thelma and Louise after, he says, ‘rebellious women’. This pair go for an incredible £21k.

As well as the fun side, we have a few moments of seriousness. Since this event was launched, it’s raised a huge amount of money. Today, they make £802k, and that takes them over the £10 million over 18 years mark.

The day draws to a close with a grand finale that celebrates the girliest of films, Dirty Dancing, with the King’s Trust team joining in on a choreographed routine. And, yes, somebody reenacts the famous lift scene, but it’s a professional dancer rather than a champagne-fuelled attendee, thankfully.

Then, we’re all slowly decanted into the garden’s marquee, with its electric pink carpet, for an after-party disco and barbecue. The hotel’s resident black cat, Raven, is milling around, though I can’t see their peacock, Colin, today. I’m surprised that it’s still light outside, because I’d lost all track of time in the spangly darkness of The Stables.

After a burger, this old bag decides to hit the road, though it doesn’t look like anyone else will be leaving quite as early.

People are still throwing shapes on the dance floor, and champagne continues to flow. This generous lot really knows how to party.

They’ve had the time of their life, and they owe it all to Lunch With An Old Bag.

For more info, see lunchwithanoldbag.com or kingstrust.org.uk

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