I tried this Edinburgh restaurant's lavish six course Christmas menu, and I didn't have to leave home

It’s a sweat and a stress, but he copes remarkably well with the demands of five squawking beaks and their foodie foibles.

There’s the veggie, the fusspot, the premature cracker poppers - guilty - and the one who always demands seconds and thirds. He has his work cut out.

My only job is to microwave the pudding, since only me and mum are fans.

Anyway, this put-upon host is the bravest of Grinchy soldiers, and was especially deserving of the Festive Box from the Capital’s restaurant, Wedgwood.

We had a preview of this offering, which is £160 for two for six courses and will be available for collection or delivery throughout Edinburgh and the Lothians on Christmas Eve.

They don’t lob it down your chimney.

In our case, the chef, Paul Wedgwood, came to the door, dressed in whites, rather than the red suit and beard that I was expecting. He presented us with a huge cardboard box tied with a bow, which gave me ominous flashbacks to lockdown.

We had some variable meal-at-home restaurant offerings back in Covid-times. Some were incredible, others were bamboozling. I hoped this was all going to make sense.

Thankfully, Wedgwood’s idiot-proof delivery is as neatly indexed as a library shelf, and comes with illustrated sheets of instructions.

Set aside at least three or four hours to eat, because this is a food ultramarathon, not a sprint.

We started with the venison ham, celeriac remoulade, sweet and sour brambles and golden beetroot, which was cold and only needed assembling. The leaves of veg and ham were all blotted between sheets of brown paper, and this felt like some kind of winter crafting project.

I got arty with my Jackson Pollock smudges, smears and blobs, using our finest plates. (Of which there are only two, so we had to be plongeurs between courses).

And, it was utterly joyous We ate it while a Dolly Parton Christmas tune was playing. Blame shuffle.

Next was the Jerusalem artichoke veloute, chestnuts, pancetta, truffle and wild mushroom, which required a bit of heating, as the soup had to be warmed in its bag and the pork nibs crisped in the oven. Once prep was complete, the nibbly bits were sprinkled on top, including the contents of a tiny wrap of umami cep powder and a pipette’s worth of truffle oil.

This dish was glorious - rich, balmy, gout-inducing.

It felt a bit too soon to take a break, but we did need a pause.

If this was Christmas Day, we’d maybe watch a bit of Home Alone or whatever other dross was on the box, before tackling the remaining two-thirds.

I’m not sure the chef will like me saying this, but I think you could squeeze this menu out to feed three people.

Course three was another cold dish - rolled smoked salmon stuffed with a creamy mousse of avocado and goat’s cheese, plus a side salad of cubed potato, caviar, lemon dressing and watercress. It required a bit of minor mixing, and plonking onto the plate.

As my other half is a goat-cheese-ophobe, I got two of these.

For the next course, they’ve gone traditional turkey - our choice - or you can go for cider-brined pheasant breast. The main required the most cooking, since the meat, and sweet potato mash had to be heated in a bag, and the excellent gravy had to be warmed. Oh, and each ballotine of rosemary-spiked stuffing-filled turkey has to be sliced into three. It wasn’t too taxing.

“Is this as good as my Christmas lunch?” asked my other half. I pretended not to hear, because I’m not a great liar and my Elf on the Shelf is watching me.

There were pigs in blankets - two each - baby carrots, dreamy roast potatoes, and sprouts. Gorgeous, though I’m not claiming we managed to get our ho-ho-hoing gear round it all.

There were just two puddings to go - a cold one, and a hot one.

The gingerbread-crumb-sprinkled panna cotta with spiced clementine was his favourite, and the Christmas pudding with tiny cubes of pineapple and XO rum sauce was mine. I think I might have to upgrade my usual brandy butter to this boozy jus.

If it was just going to be us on Christmas Day, we would totally order this festive spread again.

I don’t think I’ve ever had such an epic and lavish feast. There was no need for the usual cheese finale.

We had plenty of leftovers, too, and, on faux Boxing Day, I let my other half polish them off. After all, he’s going to need all his strength.

267 Canongate, Royal Mile, Edinburgh (0131 558 8737, www.wedgwoodtherestaurant.co.uk)