I had a cameo role in Edinburgh's biggest pantomime and loved every second

Claire Gray, daughter of late panto legend Andy, is standing precariously on a platform secured to the front of the trike, dressed as a cow.

“Just don’t throw me off into the pit and we’ll be fine,” she whispers.

The assistant stage manager grabs the back of the trike.

“Standing by,” she says, before giving me a strong push, propelling us into the middle of the stage.

It is Edinburgh’s Festival Theatre pantomime and I have secured myself a cameo role for one matinee only - as trike rider and occasional ensemble member.

“I’m not quite sure why there’s a cowboy in Jack and the Beanstalk,” remarks panto baddie, Fleshcreep, aka Grant Stott, as he walks by. “But it’s panto.”

In truth, it was the only spare costume the wardrobe department could find in my size at short notice - and it still needed taking up. But he’s right, in panto, none of that matters. Why is a cowboy driving the cow to market? Why, in the scenes where I take part in a dancing line across the stage is there a farmer in front of me and a giant panda behind? Nobody knows, or cares.

We are in the last few days of the four-week long run and all of the performers seem to be having as much fun as if it was week one.

“Hiya Jack,” the cast and crew voluntarily chorus in the wings along with the audience every time Jordan Young appears on stage.

The rapport between veteran dame Allan Stewart - this year playing Dame May McTrot in his 50th year in panto - and the audience never wavers for a second.

In a week when most children are back at school and the panto season is coming to a close, he ad libs when he looks out into the auditorium to notice a somewhat older crowd.

“It’s like looking into a mirror,” he quips, adjusting his grey wig.

Company manager John Nicoll, who has led the Edinburgh panto production for ten years, with the rest of his year, incongruously, dedicated to opera productions, admits he has loved every minute.

He is stepping down after this season, taking up a full-time role at Glyndebourne festival - quite a contrast to the chaos of panto.

“You have to keep your wits about you, every show is different,” he says.

Actor Gail Watson, who plays the Spirit of the Beans and has previously appeared on TV series including Shetland and Karen Pirie, is a tiny bundle of energy.

“It’s easy to forget how blessed we are, that this is our job,” she admits, before running on stage to go head to head in a comedy stand off with 6ft 4 Stott.

Unbeknown to the audience, once off stage again, she is mirroring one of the ensemble dances in the wings, mimicking the guards’ movements to make them laugh.

“Right,” she says when that number is over. “Time for a quick cup of tea now.”

Stewart is also taking a rare break between scenes in one of his dozens of spectacular costumes.

Some of his changes take less than 30 seconds and are carried out by two wardrobe assistants, who can change him from a pinafore adorned with fried eggs to a spectacular glittering gown in the blink of an eye.

I have just returned from my third cameo appearance, chasing across the stage wielding an imaginary lasso (I am a cowboy, after all) at the sound of the “banter button”.

“We need to get you a speaking part next year,” he whispers. I’ll hold him to that.

Jack and the Beanstalk runs at the Festival Theatre, Edinburgh, until Saturday.