My Festival - Sammy J: 'I'm immortal'

Because all those other performers are just using you to further their UK careers. It’s pathetic. But I’ve got nothing to gain from your attendance. I’m only coming for 12 days, I may never return to Edinburgh, and the only reason I’m risking financial oblivion is because I’m really proud of this show and I reckon you’ll enjoy it.

What will we learn from your show that we didn’t know before?

How a single transaction in the schoolyard in 1996, specifically swapping comics with my school gardener, had long-lasting ramifications including a) my marriage and b) my criminal activity.

Who or what was the biggest inspiration for your show?

A lot of the show is about how obsessed I was with a particularly niche comic book hero when I was younger. So I’m inspired by people with very specific hobbies or interests who choose to pursue them even when it’s terrible for their social life. Looking at you, model train lovers.

What’s the best review you’ve ever had, and the worst?

An Edinburgh reviewer once said a song of mine made them want to vomit out their arsehole, which was a wonderfully poetic tear down. Sadly for them they couldn’t convert the desire into actually following through. As for best reviews? Sorry, I’m a neurotic performer. I only remember the bad ones.

Who or what are you most excited about seeing this year?

Sincerely, I just can’t wait to wander the cobbles again and duck into tiny venues to see what’s playing. It’s been 12 years since I was last at the Fringe so I feel very grateful that I’ll have a chance to experience this glorious artistic orgy once again.

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Who do you most like spending time with in Edinburgh?

The immigration officials at the airport. Always a barrel of laughs.

Tell us something about you that would surprise people.

I’m immortal.

What are the best and worst things that have happened to you at a festival?

Once at Late and Live with Randy Feltface, the comic before us had a glass thrown at him by a punter. Blood streaming down his face. Crowd going ballistic. And our little man/puppet double act had to follow that. But we had a great time, so it wins best and worst gig.

What’s the first thing you do in the morning and the last thing you do at night?

Think about that stupid thing I said to someone 20 years ago and castigate myself for it.

Thanks for the interview! We’d like to buy you a drink. Where are we going and what are we drinking?

Back in my day the person inviting you would select the venue and the drink. If this is how much Scottish hospitality has declined, I’m reconsidering the entire trip.

Sammy J: Hero Complex, Underbelly Bristo Square Cowbarn, 7:40pm, until 16 August

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