The Lost Language of Oysters by Alexander McCall Smith review: 'Professor von Igelfeld is all of us'
It may be fun to laugh at the antics of the self-serious German academic Professor von Igelfeld, but you can’t help rooting for him too, writes Roger Cox
Of all the colourful characters Alexander McCall Smith has dreamed up over the years, the German academic Professor Moritz-Maria von Igelfeld is my favourite. The clue, as they say, is in the name: "Igel" means "hedgehog" in German, and for all his success in the obscure but (he would maintain) extremely important field of Romance linguistics, a reputation founded largely on his groundbreaking book Portuguese Irregular Verbs, von Igelfeld is a somewhat prickly character. Head of his department at the University of Regensburg he may be, but for all his pomposity and self-satisfaction, there are tell-tale signs that his ego is still fragile: the opinion of others evidently matters to him greatly, and he is often less-than-charitable about the achievements of his contemporaries, particularly those who might represent potential threats to his status. The successes of people just beneath him in the academic pecking order - notably his colleague Professor Detlev Amadeus Unterholzer, "author of a minor work on the subjunctive mood" - are to be belittled wherever possible.
For readers in these islands, where not taking yourself too seriously is generally worn as a badge of honour, a highly self-serious German academic makes for an irresistible figure of fun. And yet, and yet... no matter how self-aware we may think we are, are we not all von Igelfelds to some extent? On the one hand perhaps a little too pleased with ourselves, while on the other constantly fretting about how others see us? With von Igelfeld, McCall Smith the moralist has his cake and eats it, offering the reader plenty of laughs but at the same time gently saying "of course, this man is nothing at all like you, is he? Or is he?"
In this latest von Igelfeld adventure (or rather "entertainment", as the books in this particular McCall Smith series are called), our hero discovers that Portuguese Irregular Verbs has received glowing praise in a new publication from the Italian academic Professor Giovanni Fantozzi. Naturally, von Igelfeld is desperate to find out what has been written about his masterpiece. The only problem is, only one copy of the Fantozzi volume has found its way into the library of the University of Regensburg, and Professor Unterholzer has taken it out. According to the library rules, this means he can keep it locked away in his study for up to six weeks, but - of course - von Igelfeld can't wait that long, and so enters into an ever-more complicated quest to lay hands on the elusive book.
Meanwhile, two motorbike-riding academics from Louisiana, both experts in Provençal language, are visiting Regensberg to carry out research: Professor Pom Pom Boisseau and Professor Alice Martinique. In spite of the fact that he knows nothing about motorbikes, von Igelfeld allows his affection for Pom Pom to get the better of him, throws caution to the wind, and allows her to take him for "a trip down the road". This exhilarating but out-of-character excursion does not go unnoticed in the conservative academic circles of Regensberg, and, in conjunction with certain other odd behaviours, leads some of von Igelfeld's colleagues to suspect that he may be starting to lose touch with reality.
It's a plot which presents countless opportunities for poor von Igelfeld to be humiliated, and McCall Smith capitalises on all of them, to supremely toe-curling effect. Appropriately for a book populated by professional linguists, much of the humour comes from misunderstandings. Explaining that her friend is off to get a tattoo, for example, and stating that she has tattoos of her own, Pom Pom asks von Igelfeld if he has any "art", to which he replies "I have some paintings in my flat." Fans of the earlier von Igelfeld books will also be delighted to know that, in a further embarrassment for our hero, Unterholzer's unfortunate, one-legged sausage dog Walter - accidentally dismembered by von Igelfeld in The Finer Points of Sausage Dogs - makes a cameo appearance here.
For all that it's fun to laugh at von Igelfeld’s antics, however, as McCall Smith sends him staggering only semi-comprehendingly from one crisis to another, it's impossible not to root for him too. Perhaps that's because, with his myriad quirks, hang-ups and insecurities, von Igelfeld is all of us.
The Lost Language of Oysters, by Alexander McCall Smith, Abacus Books, £16.99. Alexander McCall Smith is appearing at the Edinburgh International Book Festival on 15 August.
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